Today has been tough

So, it’s been a tough day for me.  (1)  It has been rainy and gray all week in Atlanta.  Can someone also please pray for some sunshine?  I need it badly!  (2)  I can’t stop thinking about “it” today.  Maybe it is becoming more real to me.  This is really happening and not going away.  The past couple of weeks I’ve been in denial and have been able to move through each day like normal.  But today was a little different.  (3) This “sit and wait” for results thing is for the birds.  It’s killing me.  I would like to be confident that the cancer has not spread and I am trying.  I’m really trying.  But, I can’t stop thinking about “what if it has spread?”  Uugghh.  We will know for sure on Friday.  Hope I can make it until then.

On a positive note, I am getting a massage tomorrow.  Can’t wait!  I have so much tension in my shoulders and neck you would not even believe it – or maybe you would.

Side note:  While I am typing this post, my home phone rings and the caller ID shows it’s my oncologist.  My heart drops into my stomach thinking it’s the doctor calling me early with the results.  I pick it up completely sick to my stomach and it is an automated message confirming my Friday appointment.  People please.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of the kind words of support.  Ed and I both have received a ton of emails, comments on the web site, and phone calls.  So, thank you.  Please know we are listening to and reading every single one of them and sometimes twice!  And they are all appreciated.  One thing is very clear, we have lots of support!  And we are very thankful for that.


  1. Sheila Crabtree says:

    Meredith, you and your family WILL get through this struggle – with God’s help. And, when you do – you should consider a side career in writing…your writing “voice” is a gift! Please know I am praying and my Bible study group will be praying, as well. Fondly, Sheila

  2. Meredith,
    I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. I am sure that your strong spirit and health will prevail! You and your family will be in every one of my prayers!
    Vallee Burnes Donovan

  3. Stay positive Meredith. I want you to talk to my co-worker when you are up to it. She is a survivor and super positive and didn’t let this knock her. You are in my thoughts constantly. Let me know if you need anything!

  4. Lauriel, Craig and Mabel says:

    Thinking of you, Ed and Gracie…..constantly, as well. We are just outside your door if you need us.

  5. Lauriel, Craig and Mabel says:

    Please know, we are all sitting and waiting with you 🙂

  6. Praying really hard for good news today Meredith! Hang in there!

  7. Hey honey. Can I just say how amazing you are. So frank, honest and strong about what you are going thru. I am truly in awe of you right now – heartbroken that you have to go thru this but so very proud of you too! That attitude is going to get you (both) thru this. Cancer is in for a butt whipping!

    Thinking only positive thoughts – love,

  8. brandi & anthony says:

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you & Ed today.

  9. Becky McAvoy says:

    OK, Mere…that ‘people please’ comment, did Ed take over your blog, like when he takes over your phone and texts me…lol.

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